‘’We can’t stay here!’’ Tess hisses at me as she and Kate still stand around awkwardly.
I feel myself slip into a no-nonsense kind of mood. ‘’You don’t want to stay?’’ I ask her, my tone quite harsh. ‘’Then go,’’ I answer her for myself.
Tess’s eyes turn even more furious now; angry from betrayal. I feel a pang shoot through my body as I remember, vividly, what that feels like. Can it be only a day ago, that I felt like that? Intensely so, toward Davous?
And do I still feel like that? Betrayed by him? By his games?
No, I don’t – I realize.
It takes me some time and effort to admit, but I think it’s because I know he never really did. I realize now that it is true; he never played a game with me.
How do I know this? Faith, I guess . . . – there’s nothing else I can think of to explain it.
‘’No,’’ Kate says, pulling me from my thoughts abruptly. ‘’We have to stay.’’
‘’And why is that?’’ Tess retorts; directing her fury now at Kate – which is perfectly fine by me.
‘’Because we have to look after our own. We have to stay together no matter what.’’
Well, there’s no arguing with that! Especially when it comes to the idealistic tone Kate says the words on; she said something she really believed in – and who are we, or anyone else, to argue with that?
‘’That is a noble gesture,’’ Davous’s sure and strong voice sounds through the room. ‘’But Marianna isn’t in danger. Not with me – ‘’
‘’Yes, she is!’’ Tess exclaims when Davous is barely done speaking.
I laugh – I don’t know why. ‘’No, I’m not,’’ I say.
Tess opens her mouth, but Kate, knowingly, speaks up before she can. ‘’Maybe you are right. But we are still staying. After all: you are not the only one who wants answers,’’ she says.
No, I’m definitely not that. But oddly enough, I hadn’t thought of that before. I hadn’t thought of the fact that Kate and Tess, and many of the others would want to know what Davous has to say as well. It’s hard to think about others when you’re not used to it, having had to survive on my own for so long . . .
Kate moves her eyes to Davous, who’s looking at me – as usual, it seems. Her eyes are serious, but a certain amount of sweetness shows in them as well – I don’t like that, and I’m not sure why.
‘’Will you give us answers?’’ she asks Davous, who’s gaze has now left me.
It’s silent. In the corner of my eye I see Davous stare into the distance, thoughtfully. He doesn’t speak, he doesn’t move. None of us do. The silence is perfect.
After I’ve become increasingly more curious, I turn my gaze to him. And at the same time, as if it were fate – I really shouldn’t think like this! – he turns his gaze to me. We look into each other’s eyes straight for the first time since I fainted. I feel like getting lost again. I feel like falling.
‘’Yes,’’ he says, in a voice so soft, it barely disturbs the silence – the perfect silence.
‘’Yes,’’ I repeat, and I don’t know why – I don’t seem to know anything lately . . .
Tess’s voice breaks the silence brutally then. ‘’Alright,’’ she says – I want to yell at her to shut up, but I don’t – and she continues; ‘’Let’s have it then,’’ she says, more than a little impatient. And more than a little suspicious of Davous backing out.
‘’Alright,’’ Davous repeats Tess’s word, and it sounds a thousand times better coming from him than from her. ‘’Why don’t you sit down,’’ he says, his tone polite and friendly.
He doesn’t move his gaze from mine for even the tiniest portion of a second, while we wait for Tess and Kate to take their seats. Nor do I move mine from his.
Kate walks to the other side of the attic – the side with the many windows – to get an extra chair. I register the sound of her impatient steps in my mind, put don’t have the energy or will to pay attention to it, to wonder about it’s cause.
Not a second has passed since Tess and Kate have sat down, and Tess is already urging Davous to go on. If I had the ability to look away from Davous’s eyes right now, I would have thrown her an annoyed look. But Davous complies politely to her demand, and then – at long last – he starts talking.