literature

Naraka - Ch.19

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 I feel so heavy. I feel so unbelievably heavy. But I also feel light. No, not light – I feel like I’m flying!
 Everything passes me by. Everything goes on without my interference. I don’t interrupt anything or anyone, nor do I want to. I fly over streets, houses, fields and am content. For the first time in a long time I feel peaceful. My heart beats in a normal rhythm, my lungs breathe with perfect regularity. Everything is good.
 Until I fly over a dry, yellow field. In it stands a man. A young man. A non-human man. He has dark eyes. And as soon as my eyes move to his, I’m caught, and I know there’s no going back.

 I open my eyes.
 I feel warm.
 No, I feel hot – incredibly hot.
 ‘’Why is it so hot in here?’’ I ask aloud without thinking.
 To my utter surprise, someone answers. ‘’Because you’ve been sleeping with your clothes on,’’ I hear a voice tell me.
 I recognize the voice, I know that. But it takes me a second – probably a lot longer – to remember.
 Finally, I do. It’s Tess . . .
 IT’S TESS!
 ‘’What the hell!’’ I shout, without thinking again.
 At the same time I push myself further away from the person that hovers over me. And that person must be Tess.
 It’s so dark. And that, in addition with the fog in my mind, makes it hard for me to make out anything before me. I try to see, clearly, but I’m not succeeding.
 ‘’Why is it so dark in here?’’ I ask, with thinking. But without wanting to.
 Why do I keep saying things? Things I don’t want to say. Well; not aloud any way.
 I see movement before me, and from the sounds I hear I decide it must be Tess moving around. ‘’Could you switch on the night lamp for me?’’ I hear her ask someone.
 Wait – ask someone? Is there someone else here? In my room? In our room?
 A light, far away from me, springs to life, shining brightly. It must be Tess’s night lamp, I think to myself. I feel grateful to it; everything is so much clearer suddenly. Now I can see exactly where Tess is, and who else is here. It’s Kate – no one to worry about.
 But there’s someone I do worry about. I feel a sudden ache in my heart as I think of him, worry about him.
 ‘’Where’s – ‘’ I start asking, without thinking again. But luckily I’m quick enough to stop myself. I shut my mouth and purse my lips together tightly, not trusting them one bit.
 ‘’What?’’ Tess asks, her voice patient and curious.
 But I refuse to answer her, and look away from her questioning eyes.
 I hear Kate sigh – I can’t tell if it’s from exhaustion, annoyance, impatience, defeat, or anything other. ‘’She wants to know where Davous is,’’ Kate says simply.
 I suck in a quick, and – sadly – very audible breath, from shock. The sense of betrayal takes over my heart, making it burn with indignation and anger. The fire quickly enters my eyes, too. And I don’t try one bit to hide it; I look Kate straight in the eye, with burning accusation.
 She doesn’t seem to notice. The only thing she notices is that I’m upset. So she tries to soothe me; ‘’Don’t worry, he’s fine. And he’s still in the attic.’’
 Oh.
 I can’t ignore the sense of relief spreading through my body, it’s so powerful. It makes everything else less intense. It makes me feel numb.
 But as I become more and more numb, Tess becomes more and more intense. Her features look suspiciously, and her eyes regard me sharply. ‘’Why did you do it, Marianna?’’ she asks me, her tone stern but fair – she would make a good teacher, I note in the back of my mind.
 The numbness has not faded. If anything, it has only become stronger. I feel like laughing. I want to laugh, and I think I do, but I’m not completely sure; I’m not really sure of any of my actions in this moment, my body feels so far away – again! What’s wrong with me?!
 ‘’This is not a joke, Marianna!’’ Tess snaps at me.
 Oh . . . so I guess I was laughing.
 ‘’You’ve gotten us all in serious trouble, so I want to know why. I wan to know why you saved that . . . damned creature!’’ she demands.
 I’m not wise enough to keep my mouth shut, as I wish I were. Instead I answer her with the first – very dumb – thought that comes to mind. ‘’I don’t know,’’ I answer her, sounding every bit as dumbfounded as I feel.
 ‘’You don’t know?’’ Tess repeats on an incredulous tone, her voice pitching high as she spook.
 A chuckle slips from my mouth. I purse my lips tightly together again when I see the response on Tess’s face to that. ‘’No,’’ I say, not knowing what else to tell her – I really don’t even know myself why I did it, so how else could I answer her?
 Tess’s cheeks redden slightly; definitely out of anger. Her muscles – especially the ones in her face – tighten as she looks at me with blazing eyes.
 In the last few days Tess and I were actually getting along a little better. So much so that I even could see myself become good friends with her. But we’re right at the beginning and worse after tonight – that much is clear.
 ‘’Uhm, Tess,’’ I hear Kate call in a quiet and unsure voice, still coming from the chair she was in.
 It’s silent for six heartbeats. Then Tess moves her heavy gaze away from me – I feel relief as soon as she does – and turns her attention to Kate.
 ‘’Yes?’’ she asks, the sound of her voice a lot less angry than the look in her eyes just was.
 ‘’I think, if you meet him, you’ll know the answer to that question yourself,’’ Kate tells her, her tone knowing.
 ‘’I’m not meeting anyone!’’ Tess retorts a little too loudly – we all know it.
 As soon as the words have sounded, we all look around anxiously, three pairs of eyes stopping at the door, waiting and fearing for it to open.
 We wait. I don’t count the heartbeats; I’m too nervous for that. We wait in silence, all fearing the same thing, all thinking of what to do. And none of us wanting to break the silence the first.
 But after a long while has passed, I can’t keep still any more. I get up from the bed – a lot less graceful than usual, which wasn’t really that graceful to begin with – and make an attempt to get to my closet. But after I have taken just two steps, Tess blocks my way.
 ‘’What are you doing?’’ she hisses at me, her tone demanding.
 I try to walk around her, taking a step to the left. But she steps in front of me, blocking me, again. Her eyes are demanding now, too, and tries to pull my gaze.
 ‘’I’m going to the attic,’’ I say, my voice much more feeble than my will. I refuse to look her in the eye as I wait for her to let me pass.
 ‘’And get us in even more trouble?’’ she exclaims, her voice now more desperate than stern.
 My stubborn side boils up – I’m starting to feel more like myself again. ‘’Either we are in trouble, or we’re not. There’s no ‘more’ or ‘less’,’’ I snap, telling her off.
 She blinks a few times, not having expected that little rant. Then she resumes her stern stance again. ‘’That might be so,’’ she says in an utterly controlled voice. ‘’But you do risk the chance of discovery every time you go . . . to him. And that will most definitely be ‘more trouble’!’’
 I’m really not in the mood for this. Nor do I have the energy and mental clarity to argue now. ‘’You want to stop me?’’ I ask as I push her – gently – out of the way. ‘’Then stop me,’’ I say as I walk to the door.
 Tess doesn’t stop me. Nor does Kate. But they don’t just stand around either; they follow me. As I walk through the door into the hallway, I can hear them following me on my heels. I don’t look back, I don’t pay any attention to them. I just keep going, keep walking to Davous.
 ‘I need to get to him’ – is all I can think. I need to know everything!
 I walk through the big room of the girl’s quarters. Luckily, there’s no one there to see me storm through the room and looking like a beast. Well, that’s not true; luck has nothing to do with it – it’s eleven o’clock, everyone is sleeping. Everyone except for us.
 I have to make a lot of effort to not glance behind me. But in the end, I’m able to resist.
 I walk through the door to the hallway, turn sharply on my heel to open the door to the attic, and am storming up the stairs a second later. The only thing I register all the while is repeating the thought ‘I have to get to Davous’ over and over in my head, and hearing the quick footsteps of four feet behind me.
 I yank open the last door to the attic with much too much force; it swings right against the wall with a loud bang.
 ‘’Marianna!’’ Tess and another voice yell at the same time. One of them soaked with disapproval, the other questioning desperately – it’s Davous’s.
 I sprint along the wall of cardboard boxes and get him quickly in my sight. ‘’Davous,’’ I breathe, not able to feel embarrassed for the obvious relief in my voice, simply because relief is overwhelming me so much right now that it is the only thing I can feel.
 ‘’Marianna,’’ – a second voice with obvious relief.
 I walk over the couch he’s still on, literally pulled by the dark eyes I’m staring into. And though I could detect only the sense of relief in his voice – which shows in his eyes, too – there’s also something else in his features; he wears a deep frown with worry. But what is he worried about?
 Oh, right – I think a moment later – I fainted. That was the last that he saw of me. He’s probably worried . . . that I’m not alright. Could that be it? The thought seemed so logical at first, but now . . . it seems too much.
 ‘’How are you?’’ he asks.
 So I guess I was right – he is worried about how I am. Strange.
 I smile, not able to help myself. ‘’I’m fine,’’ I answer him on a soothing tone. Soothing! – I don’t think my voice has ever worn that manner. Not in seventeen years of life.
 ‘’Good,’’ he says, relief now taking over the worry in his voice and face.
 But I’m too distracted to pay close attention; I hear the footsteps behind me coming as close as a foot away. Tess and Kate can see Davous now. Kate sucks in a quick breath, and Tess actually gulps.
 ‘’Who’s this?’’ Davous asks, eyebrows raised curiously in an attempt to conceal his worry.
 ‘’Tess,’’ I answer without thinking – there’s been a lot of that lately . . .
 I feel Tess’s heavy gaze moving to my face. In the corner of my eye I can see her wide eyes fixed on me; Davous certainly has affect on her – that much is clear.
 ‘’We shouldn’t be here,’’ she urges in a voice that doesn’t sound like her own – there’s been a lot of that lately as well . . .
 ‘’I don’t care much for expectations,’’ I say as I keep my eyes on Davous, not having much of a choice; my body does things on it’s own now – something of which there has been the most of lately.
 ‘’But I do care for the truth,’’ I say, my voice becoming finally firmer – this is what I want, and I will get it, whatever the cost. ‘’And you are going to give it to me,’’ I tell Davous and then walk over to the couch, to sit at the same spot I’ve sat twice before. And when I’m motionless again, a last word leaves my mouth; ‘’Now,’’ I say in a voice that is firm and demanding – I feel completely like myself again, finally.
Chapter nineteen!! I hope you all like it as much as I did:)
And remember: only one chapter to go and then . . . ANSWERS!!

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Naraka (c) me
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Comments8
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very few pieces drew me in and this one did...there are a couple of grammatical/spelling errors however...relieve should be relief in at least 5 places

"than the look in her eyes just was." change to "than the look in her eyes" (you don't need the just was, and shouldn't end a sentence with was)

and "Davous certainly has affect on her" should be "an affect" or "affects her" ...I hope you don't mind a little critique